First Ever Review (Excluding the Soul Caliber one)

Here is my first ever review of Resident Evil: Deadly Silence written in the styles of some popular magazines.

The HEDGE review
"As I put the catridge into my DS there is a sudden tightening of my trousers. I put down the DS on my perspex limited edition Katamari table in my expensive North London penthouse squat and venture into the bathroom. I strip naked and watch myself in the mirror whilst fondling my manhood. I write for HEDGE, I write for HEDGe. The pummeling gets faster. I am new games journalism I pant. I'm going to lick it off, I'm GOING TO LICK IT OFF...OH.... NMmmmm. I replace my now flacid new games journalist member. I decide not to lick it off . That idea was madness. But I do write for HEDGE magazine- 7/10"

The Official Redendo Magazine review
"This is perhaps the greatest version of Resident Evil on any console ever. The only resident evil game to feature a microphone and touchscreen. Can't wait for the Pi i version. If you like this you'll like Mario Party 7, Mario Soccer, Mario Allstars: Extreme Volleyball, Mario kart Super Mario Brother Ex plus alpha Solid Gold Edition Turbo II: Extreme Legends 8/10"

Trains TM
"I lyike the colour blue 6/10"

Maily Dail Gaymz Section Review
"Lara Croft strikes out in her biggest and best adventure yet. This RTS, FPS (Thats gamer talk for Real-TIme-Strategy and First Person Shooter) is a fright a minute but beware it probably will give you cancer, it is GM, the asylum seekers will probably get it, and the gays. It also promotes violence against animals and prejudice against the living-challenged. This game is to blame for the state of todays youth and its also propaganda from Bush and Blair for the war as well as promoting vandalism (The games main protagonist, Barry is obese). There should be a law against this. Final score Lower Class/Middle Class"



Comments

  1. Gamespot Review:

    Smarmy Smarm.
    Advert.
    Please watch our video of game play.
    DS lite?
    American Loan Advert.
    Touch jills tits.
    You must have Media player 10+ installed.
    Advert for Madden '06.
    lick them, lick both the screens till she yelps with pleasure.
    Whats a Playstation?
    LOVE ME MOMMY!
    Advert for American TV show.
    Pop-up.
    Funny Name.
    7.9/10

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh yeah!? Fair enough but we'll have to Moderate your comments! We like to keep it relevent here, no going off topic in this bog, no sir...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are you in a bog?

    Michael, I can see where you are coming from but quite simply your arguments are flawed.

    You said: Your identity will be protected because responses will be coded to provide anonymity

    But this option isn't availble in resident evil Deadly Silence.

    You also said: In the near future, we will be happy to share our results with you.

    But you can only unlock Forest for multicart play, not as a selectable character for the main game. Also the Nemesis is not in this game.

    Try to do some research before commenting on a game you clearly haven't played?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bought it today!

    ReplyDelete

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