New Resident Evil Spin off!

Great news every one! There’s a new Resident Evil spin-off game, and guess what its not a pissy Outbreak, Survivor, Gameboy or mobile version! It’s coming out this Friday (17/11/2006). It features a character never seen in officially in the Resident Evil universe and features a fantastic, multi-developer, multi-platform, cross-involvement back-story, here’s a snippet of what we have managed to get of the plot (Warning Spoilers):

The main character is Jill valentine’s half Brother, Vincent. Vincent was kidnapped after the events of the first Resident Evil, from the perspective of the Gamecube version. Vincent is captured by Umbrella and is experimented upon. However it turns out Vincent has a very individual genetic make-up which makes him resistant to a variety of strains of T-Virus and G-Virus. Vincent was kept locked up several years but still remained almost immune to all the artificially created Umbrella viruses, such as the V-Virus, Z-Virus R1-Virus. Until they finally hit upon their newest and most intriguing virus, the VII-Virus.

This virus was a conceptual virus dedicated to being both a biological and technological virus. However this virus attacked Vincent on a sub-pixel/atomic level, in doing so this virus, broke down many of the barriers of the Universe he existed in, no longer was he constrained by pre-rendered backgrounds, inevitable zombies and six inventory slots. He was now in a vast universe of freedom, filled with delights of materia, talking dogs, spikey haired heroes with personality disorders and Bahamut. The VII-Virus has proven so strong that it even invades our universe affecting our sight, making us believe that he is a Square-Enix character when he is in fact the Genetically altered half-brother of Resident Evil's (Capcom) number one heroine Jill Valentine. How will his story pan out find out in Resident Evil: Dirge of Cerberus!

Seriously though, even though its gonna be shite, you know you’re gonna buy it, its Midgar in proper 3D! Ugh I feel something creeping up my rectum… Is it a piece of materia… Is it a Malboro tentacle… is it a cactuar…

Noooo I think Squenix is forcing their manhood into me without permission.