The crotch of the argument

So controversy week last week what with the Jamie Bulger thing in the new Law and Order game and Manhunt 2 being banned etc. etc. So why do video games attract so much controversy?

Books, works of art and films are allowed to portray almost whatever they want. 9/11, racism, people who have their mouths full of cockroaches: many of which are dead but those that aren't are throwing up on themselves and each other and so on. But as soon as games do these things they are labelled as disgusting, evil, exploitative, cashing in on tragedy or just simply wrong. This very quickly gets backed up with all other lazy arguments condemning video games to create a nasty impression in the public media.

The reason that this is allowed to happen in books but not games because stupid people don't read books but they do play games. Sorry stupid people. But it's true. Stupid people watch films too but films are 'high art' so for every mother on a crusade there are 40 LA film critics wanking into their cocaine laced tea over how amazing the latest ridiculous exploitative movie is (the Last King of Scotland anyone? Hotel Rwanda? Schindler's List? Saw? Lolita? Animal Farm?).

Until then stupid people, try not to die by swallowing farm animals whole a la Kirby, or by jumping down sewage pipes like Mario. Until you've done something with your life like giving birth (oh well done you've just joined every single other organism in the world by dropping a sprog. It doesn't exactly qualify you to comment on shit just because you are a 'mother') or fucked a prostitute in a dirty hotel room (politicians I'm looking at you) we can't trust you to not copy media that you may be exposed to.

In other news:
This week I'm going to be working on a real version of the T virus to release into the water. Note to all TGAM readers make sure your zombie plan is robust because it is nearly time to implement them. In my zombie plan I'll be heading to the Imperial War Museum in London. From there I will steal one of the suits of armour, a tank and a mace. The rest is kind of self explanatory.

Noogins.

P.S. What on God's earth were they thinking with the Jamie Bulger image? What's next a Columbine game? Oh, they already did........