EDGE magazine still taking the piss!

Due to our important role as a barometer for games due for general release we get sent shit loads of stuff in the post. Games, consoles, merchandise, costumes and magazines. As a consequence we get sent a copy of EDGE magazine. It's not that we would buy it anyway but when you are on the crapper you need something to read that isn't Games TM.Not so long ago you may remember that popular digital culture magazine Electronic Dreams Games Enema (EDGE)published a rather piss poor article about Menu screens. At the time we came up with a list of other piss poor articles that lazy writers could put together but in a valiant show of defiance they went one better and this month's EDGE carries an extremely "interesting" article about booklets with games.


The little books you get with games. Honestly of all the topics ripe for an article about gaming. On top of that the editors seem to think it is a good idea to fill ever increasing chunks of the magazines with developer and career shit. Once again this month seems to focus on the North East. Again. Time to rerun the Scandanavian article again guys? Nobody reads it anyway.

This paucity of decent content indicates that they are really stuck for ideas over at EDGE during these harsh empty summer months when all the people who can make decent decisions are off on ironic holiday in Wales. Which is why we took 49 seconds out of our precious day to put together this helpful list for some ideas for future (ha ha) articles:

An article about the best font used in a game and the best colour combinations. Is white on blue the new black on beige?

An article about the little shapes on the spine of the Nintendo game boxes and what they mean. I know what they mean! I know!

An article about some of EDGE's previous worst articles from the Prey review to the overly glowing preview of Mirror's edge.

An article about why all "Official magazines" are a big pile of wank even though most of them are written by the same seven people at future publishing.

An article about the worst control systems ever with special mention for games that don't let you reconfigure buttons or invert the y-axis so we can't play FPSs like a flight simulator.

A behind the scenes article about how Future Publishing's Bath office is always empty.

An article about the last month's issue of EDGE with interviews with last month's writers and Kieron Gillen.

An article about memory card icons from the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 days.

An article about the 'notes' sections within game booklets.

A cutting article about the best Prima strategy guide.

A two part article about how Beyond Good and Evil was better than Ico and how Ico was better than Beyond Good and Evil even though both were better and worse and overhyped and underhyped and overappreciated yet underappreciated more and less than SODDING PSYCHONAUTS.

Once again guys, feel free to use any of these ideas whilst wondering why the magazine sales head ever closer to oblivion. Cheers drive!