OMG! With Peaches Geldof and Gaming

For reasons not entirely clear to me I was in the unfortunate position of watching OMG! With Peaches Geldof, Peaches Geldof's foray into the world of chat show TV which was not only destined to be canned as it rightly has been rumoured but is as awful as any sane person would imagine it to be.

Amongst other vapid non-issues which the do-nothing, Fergie(the former Royal not that woman from Third Rock From The Sun who now sings with the Black Eyed Peas)'s-offspring-look-alike tackled in the latest show was gaming addiction. Tackled, show and fuck it every word in that sentence should have " " around it. Refreshingly, and part of the reason why I fought off the urge to smash the remote into my face until either the TV went off or I went blind and deaf, a lady gamer was invited onto the show to talk about her gaming addiction.

The gamer whose name I forget was pitted against a guy, who represents the stereotype for internet gamers, in a couple of rounds of Left for Dead 2. Guyliner-needs-a-wash was resoundly trumped and then almost proved gerbil-cheeked (ITS NOT FUNNY HER MUM IS DEAD YOU GUYS) Tinned Pineapples preformed opinions completely correct by seemingly forgetting that he wasn't in the internet but on a TV talk show by stating that "The game sucked anyway and that girls should stick to kitchen games". Good job asshole. Epic win for gamerkind.


Then because even bored fridges manage to turn away from a show fronted by Scientologist and 'celebutante' Geldof, a bunch of equally vapid nonebrities that make up her 'friends' offer up helpful advice. Psychologist Emma Kenny from nowhere pulls out that basically all gamers are obese and lazy and everyone agrees they need to get a life. That bloke from the radio and that hairdressing show then identified a fetish for people who like to dress up as furniture by groping a bowl of fruit glued to a table cloth on a man's back.

Why am I surprised? What was I expecting? Perhaps an in-depth look at the hideous gender based abuse in online games? The general misogyny around gaming? The stigma that girls can't match guys at games? The acknowledgement that we wouldn't have Microsoft or Apple without the gaming revolution (Peaches definitely uses a mac because she's 'creative' and can't be seen dicking around on the internet or tweeting on a PC)? The highlighting of the creative community of gamers that rule the internet? The fact that the guys at Penny Arcade and hundreds of others raise millions of dollars a year for charity through a shared love of gaming? Anything actually relating to game addiction? The merits of games like Foldit over perhaps the merits of giving a jobless talentless alleged shoplifter twat her own show and then presumably firing any producer who dares suggest that actually this is a really shit idea for a TV show?


I guess I was willing that I'd be surprised, turns out Geldof and friends occupy that special TV niche of being as vapidly stupid as they are stupidly vapid. Who thought that a show with two pricks and a cunt could be so dull? But it is a special show that bases its very existence around how Geldof sees the world rather than how the actual world works. The one upside to this is that we won't have to see pictures of her champion fly-caching mug on the next red carpet video game launch or awards ceremony.