Posts

Showing posts from 2015

I've got a confession to make.

Image
I like my Vita. Millions don't, hell even Sony Don't. But I have has a shit-ton of fun with it. It's hard to justify Investment in a system that wont be supported, but there is a lot of greatness on that system (if you like 100 hour long RPGS). Straight off the bat you have: Tales of Hearts Hyperdimension Neptunia  and its may sequels and spin-offs Akiba sTrip But Most importantly I am revisiting FFX-2 HD Remake, yeah that's right, not FFX, but FFX-2. Yeah that's right the one with the dresspheres! For the FFX remake, all Squeenix did was pretty it up a bit. But for FFX-2 they added new Dresspheres! They added a whole new Monster Arena thing, which I have spent far to many hours thoroughly enjoying. The whole thing is wrapped up in a touch of catharsisism for me the first time I played through FFX-2 I fucking loved it, I mean it's hella girly, however,,, I never hot 100% to unlock the final dressphere (Mascot), I fucking missed it by...

THE ANIMALS WATCH EACH OTHER GO THE TOILET

Image
Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer for Nintendo 3DS The red squirrel is dying. Nothing can be done. It's cancer. Cancer. A woman loves a horse. But only because he lives in a castle. Not because of the size of his cock. A hippo studies cephalopods in space. He's close to a breakthrough. Sometimes an otter watches me when I sleep in other people's beds. He never says anything At the school, the animals watch each other go the toilet. They don't find it very interesting. Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer . GAME OF THE YEAR 2015.

Nintendo have invaded my F2P market...

Almost all of us play mobile games, as a time-waster (or avoiding eye contact) waiting on or in public transport. I tend to have a few on the go at one time, I recently "Finished" the Family guy: quest for stuff game, which is wholeheartedly one of the most shallow city-building/farm building games out there. I have not spent a penny on that, it wouldn't even be satisfying to spend a penny on that either. Another gem I have been plugging away at for the past few months is Evoker  which is an oddity you set 5 cards which have different attributes and abilities. You level up cards, through solo play which uses and energy mechanic, or PvP which uses a second energy mechanic. Essentially you can only play for roughly 3-4 mins before you are locked out for about 2 hours (more at higher levels). But that was fun collecting the "team" you wanted to face off your opponent with... etc. BUT Its suffers as a Pay2win title, if you spend money on it you, and I suppose this ...

Dragon Age: Inquisition a TGAM Review

Image
Well... Dragon Age. What an immensely huge, I mean really massive game. And honestly I'm 70 hours into it and I think I have barely scratched the surface! It a fantastic way to lose several hundred hours of your life. The sweetness of this come from pretty much just giving the player what they want... a novel approach. The game merges the greatest things from western RPGs: Such as Skyrim, WoW and of course the previous 2 Dragon age games (with plenty of fan service to those who have played them). The exploration alone in this game is just fantastic, akin to Skyrim with little hidden quests for those who are willing to take that little extra time to look for them. The difference with this dragon age is the multiple sandbox areas, which are brilliant and feel unique This is what reminded me of WoW*, with all of its varied zones and questing through them with the odd dungeon to enter really hit that home. And there is all the wonderful other bioware greatness in there. You h...

Family Guy: Well fuck it it was cheap on Steam

Image
So based the greatness of South Park: Stick of Truth I took a punt on the Family Guy Game and fucking frankly I'm glad it was only a couple of quid. It is the curse of the steam sale, you see something that you wouldn't normally buy and you buy it because it's super cheap. Which incidentally is the steam sale ethos, it's £1.99 that they were not actually going to see. But anyways: fuck it have a list. Played through it, it's painfully easy up until the last boss, where it is just cheap. The plot is not even in tone with the show. The audio is simply lifted from the show. The game looks pretty shitty, the 3D does not work! Its a straight up generic 3rd person shooter. Like super generic. I mean why do they have guns? Like proper guns! Not even themes, just guns, shotguns etc. Anyway it only lasts few hours, fuck it. Try not to buy it, it's really not good. Love and Richie X *I'm not writing one, I feel dirty enough after playing that ga...

Every Day We're Pokemon Shuffling

Image
Like everyone else we were reaching for the pitchforks when Pokemon Shuffle was launched, a title published by Nintendo with explicitly freemium bullshit unlike the freemieish Steel Diver: Sub Wars which started life slightly less free to play and then got updated to be slightly more free to play and of course the Pokemon Trading Card Game Online which is a card game so for whatever reason the gaming press give it a pass or don't bother covering it. As lifelong Pokemon players I'd also like to throw in the "physically drag yourself to a GAME store to download a legendary Pokemon" for the Pokemon main series into the same category but only because those experiences have been so harrowing in the past it feels like a cost that transcends money. Our trajectory with this game went like this:   Please won't you buy some jewels to errr shuffle me? Please? Boo. Hiss. Ninty sellouts! It's... okay but I'd like to buy it. I doubt I'll stick with...

South Park: Stick of Truth

Image
So again we are reviewing a game that came out ages ago. But man... we just completed this bad boy and its fantastic. First up is the animation! It's flawless the whole thing plays like watching an episode, all the story events include your character right in there wearing what ever clothes you have given them, outside of that the player moves in familiar areas and it feels exactly like South Park. Extreme Kudos on that. Gameplay is sweet, the RPG mechanic they put in there is so much fun to play the character attacks are fun, if a bit repetitive, to watch. You level up you gain access to new and funny attacks, you can even ply with perks and customise your character further. The plot, The game is plot driven and it's so fucking funny, there is so many nods to references throughout the entire 20ish years South Park has been running. It's got the same laugh out loud, shock, cringe, factor as the show, brilliantly done. There are some familiar references and a couple...

Get Your Smashies on

Image
So we finally fucking did it. We got ourselves a "Next-Gen" console. The Wii U. Wait what do you mean it's not a next-gen console? It's actually less powerful than the Xbox 360, never mind the Xbox one? Well whatever, SMASH BROS BITCHES!!! Oh here have some fucking screenshots: There's me Dual fucking wielding, as you should be able to do in any real sequel.  Dual wield goggle bitch pikachu.  Cunzy and I chilling out on Mario Galaxy world. Cunzy and Togepi about to fuck up shit. Yeah take that, fucking lvl 50 amiibo Peach!  Cunzy checks out Wii fit girls butt... Alone time required. Yeah So Smash Bros, makes a WiiU worth it. Love and Sticky Bombs, Richie X

Season's Greetings

Image
Due to austerity measures, we're only allowed to post one article a year. Here is this years. Merry Xmas 2015 everybody. Cunzy1 1 & Richie too.