Flame Rounds: Ice Levels
Flame rounds lets us fulfil our yearning passion to be Frank Skinner, taking on his role as Judge, Jury, and Executioner in Room 101. We will be presenting a case for a particular Trope/Character/Item/UI element that pisses us off and then trying to justify whether this thing should go into room 101 (get flame roundsded?).
Cunzy1 1: What're you selling?
Richie: Fucking ice levels, most specifically that annoying inertia slide which get applied to your main character. Annoying, get some crampons.
Cunzy1 1: Are we just going to cycle through 90's gaming tropes is that it? We had five original ideas and are now just rehashing our old forum posts?
Richie: Looking back at our archive we are subconsciously rehashing ourselves over and over again. Ironically we are probably the only blog in existence with the label "bored of the same arguments" however time for us to take a long hard look in the mirror, sunshine. Doesn't make slipping on ice a game that is fun though?
Cunzy1 1: Okay when it comes to these staid level designs I fear you've started with the wrong one. Yes, ice levels do give you slidey mechanics, obfuscating snow and polar fauna, however, it gives you excellent fucking tunes. LET THOSE SLEIGH BELLS RING!
Richie: Totes, rehash the main theme but add some jingle bells, dig it. Top 3 snow/xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/secular holiday tunes in games, go:
DJ Cunzy1 1: Welcome to Smash Hits Ice Levels Edition, with me, Radio DJ who is definitely going to be exposed as a for sex crimes in 30 years. In at number three, Kirby Air Ride's Frozen Hillside can jingle my bells, if you know what I mean.
In at number 2, it's the ice level theme that everyone likes to remix, it is of course Ice Cap Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog 3:
And at number 1. Put your Beanie hat suit on and hit the yuletide slopes with Phendrana Drifts from Metroid Prime. Music to ice dudes by.
That's it for Smash Hits Ice Levels Edition, tune in next week when we take a look at the top three save room themes.
Cunzy1 1: Unlike lava levels, ice and jungle levels don't really exist in real life so I only get to visit them in video games.
Richie: True, and I can only murder swathes of demons/terrorists/zombies/mutants/big boobed dominatrices/elves/polar bears/mushrooms-with-feet/dragons/sheep/lemmings/time-travelling-parasites/monkeys/gods/fairies/devils/helpless-NPCs/goblins/French-people etc etc in games, whats your point?
Cunzy1 1: Without ice levels you wouldn't be able to have the crazy mix-ups e.g. the whole of Donkey Kong Country Returns: Tropical Freeze or Freezeflame Galaxy. You can't have the melting pot baby is there's nothing to melt?
Richie: I suppose what we are both arguing is that this is a trope. And yeah, its tired and predictable. slidey mechanics and secular, non-secular music. There are so many ways to go, and I feel like I have played this zone/level/trope/theme a million times. Done with it.
Cunzy1 1: Come for the slidey mechanics, stay for the Northern Lights ICE WORLDS SAVED.
BOOOOO
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