That guy's a Maniac...

Cast your mind back nearly two decades, to the heady days of 2001. Harry Potter... Lord of the Rings... Big Brother... Sopranos... 24... Friends... Buffy/Angel... 9/11.  In smoke filled hazy rooms akin to that seen/heard in the Streets Irony of it all, barely-twenty-somethings were, uncompetitively competing with each other all over the UK. Seeing how long they could last at 5 stars wanted rating in a tank on Vice City, or in this case who could get the highest score on SSX Tricky, Garibaldi, Showoff.  This was no ordinary competition, this was classic arcade leaderboard shit. We would sit about for hours on end passing the controller between us. Each run would last (to completion) around 5 minutes, but as we became more advanced and driven for the "perfect run". The rules changed. We were peaking around the 2 million mark. And restarts abounded. Restarts were generally reduced to 3 and could only occur before a certain point, you had to nail your first large...

Dear Snowflakes, What is your fucking problem, pie and mash not good enough for you, why don’t you go and have a word with yourself before I anti-vax your Pain au Chocolat! Yeah that’s right jog on before you do yourself a culturally appropriated mischief, innit. You think the fucking King of all Cosmos is watching the latest fucking lecture from Dr Who on woke culture? Nah m8, he’s putting his boys out on the front line, gettin ‘em learning the family trade and any of you muggy cunts out there sipping on gender fluid organic cruelty free soy lattes, who are not doing the same should be ordered to ring the parents of a soldier who has died serving their country in Afghanistan and tell them their reasons. Brexit means Brexit! Imperial measurements, blue passports, mothers pride bread and tesco value beans, top of the pops and rehashes of games from 2004. Fuck the 350 million to the NHS, I’ll give £16.99 of my hard earned for that privilege! Just the price of a pint of milk in...

With the Nintendo Switch's Capture button it's never been easier to snap a screenshot or your favourite games as you play them. Something that Nintendo has never been great at up until now, beyond titles that offer their own screenie buttons or with a strange Miiverse faff on the Wii U. It's not the most straight forward to actually get the images off of the Switch but we've done it to share some of our favourite screenshots from all the Switch titles we've been playing recently.   ( Is this even a Switch screenshot?- Ed. )  Happy Screenshotting!

So based the greatness of South Park: Stick of Truth I took a punt on the Family Guy Game and fucking frankly I'm glad it was only a couple of quid. It is the curse of the steam sale, you see something that you wouldn't normally buy and you buy it because it's super cheap. Which incidentally is the steam sale ethos, it's £1.99 that they were not actually going to see. But anyways: fuck it have a list. Played through it, it's painfully easy up until the last boss, where it is just cheap. The plot is not even in tone with the show. The audio is simply lifted from the show. The game looks pretty shitty, the 3D does not work! Its a straight up generic 3rd person shooter. Like super generic. I mean why do they have guns? Like proper guns! Not even themes, just guns, shotguns etc. Anyway it only lasts few hours, fuck it. Try not to buy it, it's really not good. Love and Richie X *I'm not writing one, I feel dirty enough after playing that ga...

Sorry reader, the 3DS onslaught continues. Whist this gen struggles to find its feet and to distinguish itself enough from last generation, Nintendo's little handheld is just hitting it out of the park and Richie and I are both exclusively playing 3DS games (well excluding a dabble with Diablo 3 and Hearthstone ). I picked up LEGO City Undercover: The Chase Begins ( LCU:TCB ) , the correct position of the colons in the title completely elude me. I'm a pretty big LEGO fan (I guess you could say I was an AFOL ) and both Richie and I have picked up most of Traveller's Tales LEGO games over the years, enjoying the gentle but colourfully fun action and the official license tie-ins. By all accounts LCU:TCB is inferior to the Wii-U original but it's fun enough nonetheless. Think, a sand box city with a smidgen of a 'story mode' but by far the thrust and fun of the game comes from finding, collecting, riding, unlocking and buying a cornucopia of widgets, MacGuf...

Hey sports fans. Long time no see. The reason why I've been absent from these pages leaving Richie to hold the fort since January is because I got burnt out by video games. This probably happens to most gamers every now and then but since January this year, I've just become so frustrated with games and the games industry I pretty much cut them out of my life for a while.  I haven't stopped playing them. At the moment the magical trilogy of Resident Evil Revelations, Pokemon Y and Fire Emblem: Awakening in my 3DS keep me ticking along but my perception of what the video game journalists and industry would consider, I'm not really playing games. Those games are old. Nobody is talking about them still. Why play those? Why not shell out a still-ridiculous amount of money for a new console that it appears nobody wants and nobody seems to know what to with.  I get a bit obsessive about things and most frequently, video games is one of those things I obsess about. I...

Pokémon X and Y have been out for a while now and we're only just writing a review? Well we are well aware that nobody reads this, it's just we felt that the reviews that came out when the game did were just a bit lazy. We can understand why, it must be horrible for an RPG to land on your desk, especially if you're not a fan of a series like Pokémon. Plus, is there any point in a review of such a mega franchise? Unless the series curators massively messed around with the recipe, it's going to sell like hot cakes anyway. Might as well phone that review in (and many did). Job done. So we're writing this for ourselves more than anything. When the aliens are poring over the remnants of our burned out civilisation maybe a media studies student might pull this review of the charred remains of a Google server somewhere. So we're writing this for us and the alien. Evolution not revolution is the phrase that hacks might turn to when reviewing a new Pokémon game....

Aaaaaaaaand I'm back. The messages have been pouring through our social media channels. Where is Cunzy1 1? Well maybe they have. We think maybe the filters are too high. We didn't receive a single message. But here I am anyway. This year's E3 put me in an anti-gaming malaise. Not only was I not looking forward to what next gen has to offer (what has next gen got to offer?) but it left such a bad taste in our mouth (we share all body cavities here) that I couldn't bare to even pick up a game. Let alone play a game. Let alone write about a game. I've spent my time watching Let's Plays on Youtube and crying into our wank sock (we share that too).  Backstreet(Pass)'s Back And then Pokemon Y came out. Global release. Which meant I had to get a 3DS and boy. Wow. We're back in. We love games again. Pokemon Wersion X and Pokemon Wersion Y  are fine games, more on that in a blog post for another time, what impressed us most jumping on the 3DS is virtually...

We're a bit Pokémon upped a bit recently. It's our go to game and if we're playing it, it probably means there isn't much else out there at the moment and AMEN AIN'T THAT THE GODDAM TRUTH.      Two days a man called GARRETT gave me the greatest gift a person can give to another. He gave me a level 44 Tornadus. Fine, you might say. That's done on street corners the world over. Well. You'd be wrong fucker because this Tornadus was the 649th Pokémon for my pokedex. This is huge news. I finally 100% legit CAUGHT THEM ALL. They said it couldn't be done . But it is. What's that, you calling me an Internet liar? I ain't one of them Reddit sun bitches go tellin' lies of this magnitude just to sound cool. Here's the proof that couldn't have been replicated of falsified in any other way because them photos are in COLOUR.   It's been a trial and for the longest time it was darn near impossible to catch them all because those h...