That guy's a Maniac...

Oh Man I so loved Project X zone ! And now there is a second one: Cunzy still considers this a non-game. But like most things, he is wrong...Yes on the outside is it seems a but "Button-bashy" but there is a delicate art to choosing the correct action from the three choices you have, then also mixing in 2 different assists. but this is only half the game. The other half is pure unadulterated Visual Novel - But a Visual novel of some of the most iconic game characters All having Banter with each other! BANTEEEEER. The Shenmue dude asking Megman how to do a fire ball, Leon chatting with Dante and Vergil about how "Devil's never cry", Phoenix Wright shouting Objection when Demitri (Vampire) is in sunlight. Pure BANTER. Ok I know I said half the game was this and the other half of the game was that... but there is alse another bit in the game... you can spend ages levelling up, setting skills and equipment for your doods! I am barely 40 hours into the game,...

So here it is then, the future: long gone are the days of plugging your console into your TV, long gone are coaxial cables, even scrabbling to put the SCART in, whilst trying to trace the input with your finger to make sure it's the right way up, is slowly becoming something you will wistfully retell to your grandkids. Nowadays everyone has a digital device and can "game" on anything. We have finally come to a point where these devices have higher quality games, no less than a few years ago colour mobile devices were playing glorified Commodore64 games using your 2,4,6,8 keys as a joystick.  Now we have easily PS1/PS2 quality games on the bog standard SMART phones, in no time at all its going to be the same tech everywhere expanding/improving at the same rates. As someone who has lived through the advent of home gaming, through generations of consoles, I can consider this a kind of golden age of gaming... Its everywhere! Yeah its fucking everywhere and sponsored by...

"Resident Evil Revival Selection HD Remastered Version" Yep that is the name of it! It is going to be released on 360 and PS3. It contains Resident evil 4 (and the parting ways Ada side missions) and Resident Evil Code Veronica! Well Isn't that nice? I have played Resi4 on Gamecube, Wii, PS2, PC, and now I can play it on my 360! AND on top of that get some classic "Code: Veronica" on the go! In saying that though... I kinna which we would get RE1/RE2/RE3 resurrected... Might happen! Lickers and Bandersnatches Richie X

Over at that other filthy site I sometimes write for I have a new article up about what would happen if Jesus, Charles Darwin, Adolf Hitler and Albert Wesker went head to head in bloody battle played some gentlemenly sports against each other. Something is wrong with the writing because at least three people have asked about the scores after the golf game. I say to ye, read the text carefully. Anyway as a special little gift to the TGAM faithful, here's the footage for the rounds that didn't make the final cut: Adolf and Darwin go head to head in the dress up as a cowboy and catch a slippery grumpig competition. The winner was the one who identified the 'real pretty mouth first'. Darwin doing pretty bady in the chat up a bitch round. There was also the hide the sausage round but that's a post for a slow news day y'know? Bonus features!

You are inappropriately dressed and have been shot and fallen down a fuck off huge long ass metal shaft, probably bumped down the sides a bit and landed on a cold hard metal floor and then had to carry around a Rocket Launcher to throw to your "boyfriend". Racked with pain, alive against all the odds and probably going to die. What would you do next? a) Phone an ambulance ASAP. My bones are broken. The pain, the pain how am I not dead. b) Just lay there and hope to bleed out sooner rather than later. c) As above with crying. d) Put some bandages on my horribly broken limbs and then limp slightly. CHOOSE YOUR ANSWER NOW The correct answer was d) just put some bandages on and get on with it and SPOILERS kill a whole bunch of hunters, dogs, zombies, lickers and a weird stone Tyrant thing. If you answered a), b) or c) then you aren't cut out for the worst spy ever industry I am afraid. Try your luck at retail management or maybe custo...

Resident Evil:Degeneration is out in the Europe on the 12th of January.All of you should buy it and show your support for Leon and Claire. Word on the grapevine is that if they sell enough copies of this film they'll do a Resident Evil 2: Wii edition so buy it now! We saw the trailer ages ago and it looked okay. To be honest we'll be upset if it doesn't have: 1) Will Smith cast as the face of Marvin Branagh. 2) Zombie and/or Claire tits. 3) Herbs. 4) The line "That guy's a maniac, why'd he bite me?" 5) The exact same plot as Resident Evil 2. In fact don't spend money making a whole new film just record someone playing Resident Evil 2 and stick it on DVD that would be best. 6) A cameo from Dante. 7) A reference to Okami, Viewtiful Joe or at least We love golf. 8) An explanation of those other Resident Evil films like it was all just a dream or something. 9) The nemesis fighting 104 Hunters. 10) A bonus feature with Hunk dancing to ...

Played it on the Gamecube: Check. Played it on the PS2: Check. Played it on the Wii: Check. Played it on the 360... Nope, looks like I have some cheevos to get this time round... As great as all this is... Where is my RE2 remake? P.S. This is possibly an April fools photoshop, but I don't think it is that unlikely.