That guy's a Maniac...

So I fucking bought San Andreas... Again. (Currently owned: PS2, Steam, Windows Phone, now 360) It was really just on a whim, £2.99 on XBox Live seemed well worth a punt. I had a dick-about with the iOS/Windows Phone version and as cool as it is to have San Andreas in your "pocket" the controls are just wank. Nobody likes a fake dual analogue stick game. But the 360 version is worth it. Its prettier than 10 years ago, it now has achievements, it actually stands the test of time! Downside is after playing the iOS version I am very aware that this is the port of the iOS version and now a newly reconditioned version, there are obvious giveaways with the controls. And it crashed a couple of times. Love and Hot Coffee, Richie

Today we are tacking a few questions from the games industry and its state of play (sic): Dear Thatguys, Everybody loves me, they all want to be like/with me. I am great, my games are great. I am a modern day Da Vinci of the games industry, My cock is so massive, marvel upon the cock of me, gaze upon its stature, admire it’s spectacle, erect a statue in it’s honour…. [Edit it goes on like this for 17 A4 sheets, front and back.] Your Saviour, Molyneux Well Molyneux, not so much. All of your games suffer from mediocrity, but you don’t seem to get it. Every time you announce a game you over-hype them to the point of vomiting, in the hope that the next generation of players will buy into your elaborate Molyneux-cult like fantasy™. I could go into much more detail about the shoddy implementation of (Heads-up, compliment incoming) what is quit unique and interesting artwork. In a shallow unfriendly shell of a game (RE: Fable 2), but I wont. Because then it becomes constructive criticism...

Following in the footsteps of non-game series Guitar Hero, now on it's 16th iteration, and Rock Band (are we on 4? 5? nobody cares), the upcoming DJ Hero is also keen to milk the shit out of mainstream non gamers with these three peripherals so you can play with your mates: DJ Hero Dex - Estimated Retail Price $140 pounds. This killer dex will show how truly easy the job of a DJ is. Just put on a compilation CD and watch the game play itself. In the meantime you can feel up some jailbait who is on an AK trip. DJ Hero Manbag - Estimated Retail price 54 euros. Show off to all your friends how much of a super underground artisan you are with this mass produced man/record bag available at any shitty independent music shop that still sells vinyl. Customise it with up to four slots for anti war and graffiti inspired badges. DJ Hero Beanie - Estimated Retail price £30. Look like a youth knob at and away from the console! Has three slots for official DJ Hero 'ironic goth message badges...

So yeah, it has been a while since I did a bit of blogeriferousness… What have I been up to? Well mainly I have been achievement whoring on Soul Calibur IV which is going well apart from the Tower being a bitch to get through. But in a strange twist of events I went back to Guitar hero 2 and 3 on the Xbox 360, after pretty much getting sick of Rockband. I have done the “Endless setlist” twice now, once on hard and then a second time on expert, though I totally nabbed out on the second time, as the guys I was playing with were on a lower difficulty, and I had got it in my head that I would still get the expert achievement… I have flirted with singin, but I really can’t sing, I failed “Tom Sawyer” on EASY! Though my Glados interpretation was apparently spot on! Drums bug the shit out of me, I’m not willing to put in the hours of practice needed to get my leg working independently of my arms. And bass just makes be really jealous of whoever is playing the guitar part. Then couple that w...

So, I finally did the "Endless Setlist" 58 songs, around 5 hours straight playing it... Sickening. Next up... Rock band 2. It has been announced , unannounced , and maybe-rumoured for an acceptable release date in europe (uk) this time. Bet it doesn't, I bet the Americans get it in September, and then we get it 6-9 months later. I mean seriously what the hell is that! The first Rock Band was almost forgiveable, given their excuse was hardware (fake drums, fake guitars) shortages. But this time round no excuses... Harmonix/EA, you are racist, hands down racist. *sulk* Luv n Hugs, Richie

Woah now, so last night saw the launch of some DLC (due for today, but we wont persecute MS's timekeeping). This DLC included the much anticipated additional Katamari content... with a hefty price tag. Each "new" zone to create a Katamari in was either 200 or 300 MS points, couple this with the new cousins and accessories. Each of the new zones is 384kb, for the non technologically savvy, there is no way that 384kb can be new content, it is simply a wee file that unlocks content that already exists on the disk. All in all this "new" content will set you back over 2000 MS Points (Nearly £20). Shocking. Also on XBL last nigh the Muse Guitar Pack was up, costing 500 MS Points for a meaty 60mb download including 3 muse tracks. Much better. Luv n' Hugs, Richie X

Tried the Line... and well, I was shot down :( She in fact looked at me disapprovingly and stated that she was not interested because Guitar hero is no longer made by Harmonix. Of all the ways I expected that line to go… I did not see that one coming. Next time… I’ll use Rock band.

The Giant Enemy Guitar Hero , recently made an observation that for Guitar Hero 3 to really pull its weight and recreate the rock star life style, then players must have groupies. So the gauntlet was layed down, this weekend I have to brag about getting Guitar Hero 3 early to chicks, in the vein hope that they will swoon and perform sexual favours. Update after the weekend. Peace out. Richie

Dude! Calling all UK-ites: As you are no doubt aware Guitar Hero 3 has been released in the US and Asia... But because we are classed as part of the EU, We are not getting it for another Month! Well not exactly! Check this shit. Observe: NO REGION PROTECTION And it has been tried and tested to work on UK PAL 360s! The only downside is that the shipping upps the RRP (£69.99) by £17. but fuck it, I'm willing to pay £17 to get it a month earlier! Just another helpful tip from us at That Guys. (And the Giant Enemy Guitar Hero) You knows we luvs ya! Richie xxx

Yes Richie, or Type-O, as he is now known is enjoying his birthday so we gave him the day off work. This was not in some kind of sickening act of kindness but a lead in into our newest competition.: What did Richie do on his birthday? Here are suggestions but only the secret webcam knows. And me, I know. 1) Wanking, just wanking- 17 votes 2) Playing Guitar Hero and Wanking- 5 votes 3) Smoking and Wanking- 2 votes 4) Watching anime and smoking- 14 votes 5) Watching anime and wanking - 204 votes 6) Playing GTA San Andreas and taking photos of dead prostitutes' splayed legs interspersed with wanking- 1 vote 7) Playing WoW- 4 votes 8) Playing WoW and wanking- 145 votes 9) Wanking and Crying- 3 votes 10) Wanking over this - 1 vote 11) Making " The Real Umbrella" but getting as far as wanking- 26 votes 12) Wanking over pictures of himself wanking- 0 votes 13) Watching anime and switching between smoking and wanking- 4356 votes 14) Going to the pub and wanking in the ladies toi...

It’s the new Mario vs Sonic and not the new Olympics game *, I mean classic fucking Mario Vs Sonic like: Super Mario World vs Sonic 2 (ah those were the days) Well for those of you who don’t know Rock band is and online version of Guitar hero with loads of new attachments to play all the different sections, guitar, bass/rhythm, drums, and singing. Recently it was delayed (RE: Kotaku) till 2008, and I found myself not caring, and in fact scrolling slightly further up the page to check on the Guitar hero 3 updates. Now as with all computer games “versus” situations there will be split factions i.e. in this case Guitar hero fanboys and Rock band fanboys. Right now I think I’m sitting on the Guitar hero fanboy side, purely because guitar her takes itself as a game, Rock band seems like it is trying to be a grown up sophisticated version of Guitar hero, which is slightly preposterous given that you are using a toy guitar… Reasons Rock Band will fail: - Too much money on gimmicky pe...

Its Confession time... I was bored one day and, well, bought "Singstar Rocks" I have a friend who own "Legends" and "Popworld" and yesterday I bough the 80s edition. The maths behind this... 4 Singstar games I have played. Ok, ok before you judge, before you start saying things like, "Oh my god Richie, Singstar is meant for 13 year old girls", I need to defend myself. Ok , admittedly you are not going to get Jack Bauer playing Singstar, but it's sooo fucking funny, everyone should have copies for one good reason... Come home drunk, several friends, sing Karaoke. Genius! Highlights: "Rocks" Kasabian - Cutt-off Killers - Somebody Told Me The Offspring - Self Esteem (La la, La la la, la la, la la la) "Legends" The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody David Bowie - Life on Mars Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence "Popworld" Blink 182 - What's My Age Again? Rob...

Yeah so I have been fucking about with Guitar hero 2 for ages now, and well I ' m better at it now (better as in not being beaten by so many girls) I am able to " 5 star " a few of the expert level s ongs . I have even wandered into the territory of the Bonus songs and found myself actually enjoying them (Recommend: Parasite play that on expert, if you don't complete it then end your life, it is piss easy) . Anyways bragging aside, I actually have a point here, I recently decided to go back to the first Guitar hero. And well was I ever shocked. It ' s so easy! I went through Expert mode, with the exception of Cowboys from hell and Bark at the moon , s tart to finish, no problems. Well I say, " No problems " actually there was one major problem : The hammer-ons and pull-offs don't work, Guitar hero 2 is way more forgiving in that respect . This all-in makes me look forward to the 360 version basically in the hope that it c...

Bored of the GH2 songs yet? Lemmie suggest to you Freezepop - Less talk more Rok . It's one of the bonus tracks, and it kick ass. buy it, play it, master it, love it

Hey Kids, I have been working on a little project, And its fucking Mental/Amazing! There's a little known site out there called Score Hero and well on the front i would guess it is a place for people out there to measure peoples scores/penis' against one and other create leagues against one and other generally, i suppose, it is just one of those "Online Community" sites. However this site hides a great and wondrous secret. In the forums section there is a sub-section called "Homebrew Projects" Now the tag line for this section is " Discussion about Guitar Mods, Wireless Projects" . Where some of this may be true, Its not the golden Holy grail of this section,.Personally I am not bothered by some Stupid-faced loser defacing his limited edition 1972 Fender Expensocaster signed by Elvis and Modding it to be a guitar hero controller. No, the real Holy Grail is a forum sticky called " Idiot Proof Guide to playing custom made songs in GH2. ...