Posts

Showing posts with the label New Layout

The new EDGE

EDGE has had a redesign. Here's what we think of it in an EDGE style Continue/Quit thing: Continue - Post Script The new 'post script' bit at the end of reviews. Before, they'd hype up a game in preview then review it for the rubbish it was the month after in reviews. Now they just do both together. I wonder how long before devs and producers stop giving these interviews if a game gets a six (gaming's 3). - No more Kroal!? Hoo. Ray. - Spinal For a second we thought the quote on the inside editorial staff page was gone. For a second we were wrong. - Aspirational Reading Finally a gaming magazine its fine to read in public and look like a metro sexual wanker rather than a gaming one. - People, Places, Things A great idea. Quit - Alexander the not so great Leigh Alexander has a column. We like what she's trying to do but her writing has taken a holier than thou aspect of late. That and she links to music on her blog like a music waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanker....

Congratulations ONM!

Image
Congratulations to out favorite Uk-based Official Nintendo Magazine on their new Guinness Book of Records (Gamer's Edition) World Record for: Most articles published on least content [Nintendo Franchise] The prestigious magazine picked up the tenuous award upon posting the article titled "New Pokémon outed". This record breaking article made the books as the 2210,0067th article on the unreleased game Pokemon Black and White. So far, a handful of screenshots and a dozen confirmed new pokemon have inspired the skilled team at ONM to: Write more news articles on this one game than Pokemon in the pokedex (with the new editions). Produce articles which when printed out and bound, forms a series of volumes larger than that human genome book series that twattish scientists keep banging on about . Write more words than neurons in the average human brain. Draw more inane comments than bricks in the Great Wall of China. The record was previously held by blogger Ed Green, who, due ...

New Term Approaching: Tweakquel

A Tweakquel is a sequel to a video game which is essentially the same as the original except with some marginally game improving new features. Common tweakquel features are: You can now dual wield weapons (e.g Halo) There is a vehicle section (Tomb Raider) You play as another character for part of the game (Devil May Cry, No More Heroes) The torch and gun are no longer mutually exclusive (Dementium) Two player co-op (Resident Evil) Some of the best levels are removed from the game (SW Battlefront) You get some decent songs licensed (Wipeout) Live action is left out (Resident Evil) Everything is shiny. So shiny (Perfect Dark) Remember, you heard it here first.

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ESCAPIST

High School Student Uses Gameboy To Create Fake Bomb Think that's neat? I just used a sharpener to create a fake bomb. I just used a credit card to create a fake bomb. I just used my fingers and a mouth noise to create a fake gun. In fact I just this second used a pen and my keys to create a fake fourty foot mechanic titan capable of destroying civilization with nothing but happy thoughts. Sometimes. Just sometimes. I think that the gaming "news" sites stretch the definitions of 'gaming' and 'news'. Have you created a fake something recently?

Top ten genicon gaming characters.

Image
It's Monday okay! Much easier to bash out a dirty top ten than it is to do any actual thinking. Here are our top ten characters to get you 'there' if your current humpee ain't doing it no more. 1) Q Bert 2) Merchant from RE4 3) Zangief 4) Lickitung 5) Ms Pac Man 6) Aeris (dead). 7) Zelda as Sheik. 8) That tranny from Neir. 9) The gorilla dude, above, from Alex Kidd when he loses a game of paper, scissors, stone (and also his undies) 10) Murdered maidens in Tenchu. All of these are tried and tested winners according to our girlfriend.

New SI Unit approaching!

In the past humanity has got by with descriptions of the passing of time using the seconds, minutes, hours etc. units of time measurement. However, today TGAM is proud to launch a new unit for the measurement of time. It is the TTECNK . Which stands for Time it Takes the Escapist to Copy News from Kotaku. It is pronounced Time it Takes the Escapist to Copy News from Kotaku and is the standard measurement of time it takes writers at the Escapist to copy and paste news articles which Kotaku stole from around the web and to publish them. It is equivalent to 'about six hours' in the previous units used to measure time. Here's some tips on how to use the new unit in conversation: "I haven't seen you in three TTECNK s" "It was a short game it only took me a TTECNK " "She only lasted for 1/20th of a TTECNK before climaxing. And to think I'd waited 2920 TTECNK s for it" That is all.

Its all Changed!

That Guy's a Maniac is dead... Long Live That Guy's a Maniac!