That guy's a Maniac...

While looking for images of anthropomorphized versions of the new pokemon with their tits out, we stumbled upon some clickbait. Not just any clickbait, metacritic showing us a definitive fact based, unbiased top 50 games of the 2010's: 1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii, 2010) 97 2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch, 2017) 97 3. Red Dead Redemption 2 (PlayStation 4, 2018) 97 4. Grand Theft Auto V (PlayStation 4, 2014) 97 5. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch, 2017) 97 6. Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360, 2010) 96 7. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Xbox 360, 2011) 96 8. The Last of Us (PlayStation 3, 2013) 95 9. The Last of Us Remastered (PlayStation 4, 2014) 95 10. Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360, 2010) 95 11. Portal 2 (Xbox 360, 2011) 95 12. God of War (PlayStation 4, 2018) 94 13. Batman: Arkham City (Xbox 360, 2011) 94 14. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS, 2011) 94 15. BioShock Infinite (PC, 2013) 94 16. Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (Xbox 360, 2010) 93 17...

A.K.A it's 1998 again, A.K.A Richie and Cunzy's gaming tastes are so on the beaten track that there's a well worn runnel slap bang in the middle of the beaten track, the very beaten track if you like, and that's the only place we'll ever walk. Apologies to all those indies, new IPs, unique genres and innovative games we're only playing stuff we know, stuff we played already, remasters, re-releases and sequels. Looking through the games of 2019 I made myself actual chunder with how boringly quotidian our games list was going to be. We apologise to both of you in advance. IT WAS ALSO A BUMPER FUCKING YEAR FOR GAMES. It's like 1998 again. The Switch is the new PlayStation and we've not been excited for """"""new""""" releases like this for a long time. I think we picked up almost all of these on launch day and it's been a long time since a year has inspired us to do that. In no apparent ord...

Its coming this year, whether we like it/are ready for it or not, the tidal wave of new technology, titles and marketing. For now we dabble in the foreplay of specs; as the industry giants stand before us hands on hip proudly dangling such numbers and technological acronyms as, 64 separate cores of GPU spinning many trillions of numbers every second or multiple Gigabytes of DDR5 doing what ever RAM does. Teasing us , leaving us salivating, moist with anticipation, gagging for more. But before we get down to it, we have expectations, its not how big the tech is, its what you do with it that counts. We have been burned before, so before we go all the way, we'd like to set some ground rules. Keep it pretty, there is little to no excuse now, most of this hardware is dedicated to prettiness and quick prettiness at that! You have the tech, set a bar and stick to it: no clipping/collision issues, no cheap grainy filters, no slow loading unreal textures, and lets keep NPCs proper...

Cock teases. So the gist of that expo was: There will be a PS4. It will have a controller. The Vita will be a hi-tech WiiU controller. There will be games. Very little on the hardware, except that it can render an old man with eyebrow twitches. The share button is for uploading game videos/screenshots.  What does the damned box that sits under your TV  look like?!? Will it be another kitchen utility a la the lean mean, fat reducing machine? Pfft. Love and Diablo 3 as well, Richie X