That guy's a Maniac...

Apologies to regular readers but here is yet another angry rant about game retailers in the UK. Fortunately, most have been driven to extinction by failing to see the writing on the wall over a decade ago when online mega retailers could beat the high street specialists in choice, price and service. PLUS the only convenience that high street retailers offer is immediacy. I can pick up a game there and then and be playing it that day in theory. However, as a concerned citizen it saddens me to see the decline of the high street retailer. Last week I found myself with some extra money following my birthday and consulted 'the list'. Now, I'm an avid gamer. I've played thousands of games, own hundreds and write for three gaming blogs. However, I also have a fairly demanding job, a family, friends who I don't see half as much as I should, passions other than gaming and a hundred other little things that take up my time. Not only does this mean that those heady days and ni...

We're talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me "It's no better to be safe than sorry". Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two Oh the things that you say. Is it life or just a play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying awayI'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me on I'll be gone in a day or two 8/10. Worth a purchase!

We're talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me "It's no better to be safe than sorry". Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two Oh the things that you say. Is it life or just a play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying awayI'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me onI'll be goneIn a day or two 8/10. Worth a purchase!

Medipack or is it Medi-pack? You make no sense How do you work? You save my life often but you could never work in real life Medipack or is it Medi-Pack? Sometimes you have a red cross Sometimes green Sometimes you come in three sizes but surely it would be better for everyone if you just came in large size Medipack or is it Medi-Pack? Sometimes you are a potion Sometimes you are a herb Sometimes you are a food stuff like milk or apples Medipack what is in you to give life? To cure all wounds by merely standing on you Or sometimes going into the inventory and selecting "use" Is it majicks? I think it is. *In my travels in Hoenn I wrote this ode as a sister ode to the classic An Ode to Spuddy . I was inspired by studying the Clamperl on Route 124.

Yes they are. Remember when everyone was all about the "yes games are art, yes they make you cry". Who ever cried at a game? The nearest I came to crying was when Richie and I were two-TV, no save, speed running Resident Evil 2 and I died at the end boss. Damn, now I'm welling up again just thinking about it. However, there is a new platform of media that makes people cry. I give you: Pokemon the first movie. Watch it and cry* like a girl unless you are so heartless. Cold and heartless heathen . *Not gay crying you understand. Fake allergy crying. We've all got them right? Right?

Yes it is. Five points if you can get the reference.

Today on this 1st day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Doing things in the wrong order. Much like the order of these posts, is it a countdown? Like the twelve days of Xmas… is it and advent calendar? Who knows. But yeah doing things in the wrong order. All of the missions in Devil May cry can be played completely out of order… I don’t know how many of you out there have actually done this, but I always forget what order the missions occur in and find that I just try my best choose the missions with bosses. This is the last in the series of the Days of Dante-mas. Next Devil May Cry you hear from us will be a review or rantings. Check out all the posts here. Anyways, I’m cutting this post short as I have better things to do… i.e. play DMC4, I got it early… One of the perks of being in the games industry. YAAAS Laters, Richie X

So Apple are releasing a 32GB version of the iPod touch... Just in time for Valentines day. Fuck spending £329 on your partner!! Seriously!! and that tag line... "A little touch of romance." Who ever came up with that needs dragged out in to the street and their throat slit . I would like to suggest "Like most Apple fans you will spent most of Valentines day touching yourself." Ugh.

Richie: Today on this 2nd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: NOT THIS FUCKING IMAGE!!! Cunzy: It's wrong. Just wrong. Richie: Someone clearly wasn't paying attention to Devil May Cry 3. Cunzy: Someone clearly never played Devil May Cry 3. Richie: Shit man, maybe this is the super secret ending on hard. Cunzy: You're right. Sorry, SPOILERS everyone. Richie: Why would someone do this? Cunzy: Imagine getting up in the morning with the intent of creating that image. Richie: I love Deviant Art though. It's like a mind reading website. Cunzy: I'm all like, you know what I haven't seen but would like to see? Two half demon brothers from that game series I played about to get it on. Richie: I want them to be looking into each others eyes longingly. Cunzy: BINGO! Deviant art delivers every time. Richie: Art galleries would be filled with shit like this if it wasn't for any kind of quality control. Cunzy: Thank the lord for those art QC...

Today on this 3rd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Bosses! One of the most appealing parts of the game is the boss characters. Huge and amazingly detailed enemies with the usual patterns to interpret and counter. In the DMC series most of the boss characters take the form of huge mythical beasts such as Cerberus, Beowulf (a Behemoth of some sort, not Ray Winstone) or a Griffon. Though I have always found that humanoid bosses are always the scariest. Neo Angelo, Vergil, Lady etc. For those of you who downloaded the demo, you have seen that you can play against one of the boss characters, a big horsey fire demon with a big sword. And the fight is so fucking pretty, I'm glad to see that the bosses haven't changed that much . Laters, Richie X

Today on this 4th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Cameos This has been touched upon in another post from Cunzy. Dante has appeared in: Viewtiful Joe: Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne: He also, showed up in Capcom Fighting Jam, and has a card in SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighter. But the biggest kick to the crotch is… and get this… he was supposed to turn up in Soul Calibur 3!!! Well fingers crossed for Soul Calibur IV… Can you imagine it Darth Vader Vs Dante… I would pay good money to see ol’ silver hair kick the crap out of faggy Annie Skywalker and his pod-racing, virgin-birth, Portman-loving ways. Laters, Richie X

Today on this 5th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Shooting guns in mid-air and thus defying gravity. Fucking brilliant hovering whilst firing off "Ebony and Ivory" so, so cool. Laters, Richie X

Today on this 6th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Vergil Vergil is an odd one… Dante’s twin brother. He’s one of the main antagonists of Devil May Cry 3, he also gets to be a playable character in the special edition. But crazily enough this dude is also a sub-boss in the first Devil May Cry. This doesn’t sit that well with me: Vergil Starts off in DMC with a Katana then gets ubered-out and starts using a big-ass two handed sword… I suppose it shouldn’t vex me that much, Dante does use a guitar… Laters, Richie X

Today on this 7th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Nevan Nevan? Nevan is the name of one of the weapons you can get in Devil May Cry 3. And it’s a guitar, and honest to god guitar! The guitar changes into a scythe, it has lightning and shoots fucking bats… I mean seriously that is fucking amazing… Nuff said. Laters, Richie X

Today on this 8th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: DMC2 -.- Hmmm, the game isn’t that bad in fact the “game” is good but all of the trimmings were just wrong. Reasons this game was bad: 1. Lucia disk. Exactly the same as Dante’s playthrough no variety no… substance. Certainly no RE2 Claire and Leon situation. 2. Sponsored by Diesel. Nice idea, worst costumes. 3. Dante was not cool. He said nothing and was just “Emo may Cry” all the way through it. 4. Harder modes were not harder. Just longer. It took ages to kill enemies as they all had Devil Triggers too. 5. Camera angles. The DMC camera system is almost as identifiable as Dante nowadays but it was a little flawed in DMC2 as Dante could get further and further away until he was a tiny spec on the screen. Flawed. But very few of these things actually took away from the game, all of the required, power-ups, level-ups and slashy-shooty great fighty-ness was in there. Game if they had sorted out the ...

Today on this 9th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Laydeez In each of the devil may cry titles there has always been a key female character, more often than not jonesing for Dante… We have seen, Trish, Lucia and Lady ( See above for DMC4 Trish and Lady!) in the past games. In DMC4 there is certainly a new female… Fingers X-ed it’s a female… otherwise I might have been a but self-ghey :S Laters,

Today on this 10th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Heroes or Villains with premature greying. I dunno what it is that causes antagonists and protagonists to go grey so early in their lives, I suppose in Dante’s case you can blame it on his demon heritage, and well Vergil (his brother) and Nero both have this silver hair. And of course we have all seen Sephiroth and his long flowing locks of silver hair. So… Where does this come from it clearly is something of Japanese origin perhaps based on Japanese history along side those Giant enemy Crabs? Let’s look at what could possible cause this: 1. What is the scientific reason for people to go grey? The change in hair colour is caused by the gradual decrease of pigmentation that occurs when melanin ceases to be produced in the hair root and new hairs grow in without pigment. The stem cells at the base of hair follicles are responsible for producing melanocytes, the cells that produce and store pigment in hair and skin. The...

In honour of DMC4 coming out in 11 days I have decided that I shall be posting every day with something Devil May Cry or Capcom related. Today on this 11th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Guns and Swords. It doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should in video games a main character with guns and swords. Yeah you have Squall/Leon from Final Fantasy VIII and Kingdom Hearts (1 and 2) respectively, but that was an RPG you didn’t really get the freedom to shoot and slash everything in site. And most 3rd person games usually just supplement swords with magic. Laters, Richie

Yes it's the return of our "regular" feature The TGAM Maniac Award. This month the award goes to the 14 year old kid who called W_72 "sad for being a girl and playing computer games" over an Xbox LIVE headset during Gears of War. Good job nerd, but it'll be less funny for you when you have to start paying for games and Xbox LIVE subscription for yourself. Then you'll find out what sad really is. I feel sorry for generic Xbox Live kid47. They've got so much to go through, puberty, getting caught humping a sock whilst watching the shopping channel by their Mom, being a skaterkid for three months until your parents refuse to buy you a new board, earning your brown wings in the back of some guy's car for a bag of bon bons. Ahhhh! Sweet memories. Contratulations, Kid, your half way to becoming a real boy and you are this month (and this year's so far) Maniac.

Hey Kids! Given my morbid almost perverse desire to combine sex and video games, and since my last pose was waaaay back in February for my Valentines Day sex and video games ideas , I thought it was time for a quick update. There’s a bird out there that has designed a new Pong controller for couples. It’s a bra, grope the left one and the paddle goes left, grope the right one and the paddle goes right. Check out the videos here . I have to say that this is delightfully unimaginative, pong has to be the least arousing game/concept out there. However, granted that using erogenous zones as controllers is a masterful idea in itself. There has to be better games to apply this to, something a bit more fast paced… I dunno say an R-Type like game moving up and down, whilst rapidly pressing the fire button seems to lend itself almost too perfectly… But anyway so if you get two folk working together on this and given that sex gives that heady melding of two souls, could we potentially get a game...