That guy's a Maniac...

It's true. I recently bought ONM (for the free gifts of course) and the free gift was crap. A keyring made out of hideous cheap-off-the-market-for-a-quid-"lego"-plastic so I decided to get my money's worth I'd actually try to read the magazine. It was hideous. The writing is by four year old never heard ofs who desperately try to sound like they don't have to give all the games above average marks. Anyway, this is besides the point. They had an article on the hot 100, trying to convince Nintendo fans that there was a reason they have a Wii other than to play Wii Play and Wii Sports or Wario Ware (Zelda can just fuck off). And what games was I interested in? Was it Pokemon Battle Revolution? Well a bit but everyone knows it's just an expensive husk of a game. Was it Mario Galaxy? No. I don't particularly like space as a setting for things and it just brings back memories of playing Super Mario 64 which is sometimes a good thing but sometimes bad too. ...

So what have we got to look forward to? Assassins Creed [Xbox 360] [PS3] Stealthy, 3rd persony slash-em-up set in medieval times for the next gen. Of course it looks pretty its next-gen, pretty comes as standard. Now everyone seems quite keen for this badboy to come out, but aside from it being a “launch” title (i.e. we knew about this one before the 360 was released). I still worry that this will be shite. Heavenly Sword [PS3] 3rd persony slash-em-up set in a fantasy world for the next gen. Of course it looks pretty its next-gen, pretty comes as standard. Now everyone seems quite keen for this badboy to come out, but aside from it being a “launch” title (i.e. we knew about this one before the PS3 was released). I still worry that this will be shite. Boobies. Halo 3 [Xbox 360] Next up ol Master Chief himself has returned for the 360, more shooting aliens, more laser swords, more classic FPS. In a world where FPS’s are standard, what makes this one stand out from the crowd? Answer: It ...