That guy's a Maniac...

Oh gosh... I dunno if it counts as an addition to out sister blog: Dinosaurs in Games GRIMLOCK!!! Love and inappropriate indie music, Richie X

I've been exclusively playing Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis and Turok Evolution on the PS2 recently. Partly because you won't be able to play PS2 games through the TV anymore, already it hurts the eyes unless you spend ten minutes of naffing through the menus everytime you switch from DVD to TV to PS2 to Wii. I've been playing Jurassic Park genesis because JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KEVIN FROM OHIO YOU'VE SEEN A Ceratosaurus hunt and eat most of a herd of Dryosaurus and you're pissy because the trees aren't authentic? Ahhh the thrills of accidentally deleting security fences. As for Turok Evolution, I've been trying to finish it for that other neglected webpage . Now, I know it isn't particular a great shooter but considering how easy it is to roll your eyes far back into your own head everytime another FPS comes out it is easy to forget the kind of crap we had to put up with. Here's a list of my personal peeves at Turok, some are specifically aimed a...

Yes children! This weekend I actually played some games. Shock and awe is what you are no doubt feeling now. Not satisfied with persistently sitting on the sidelines poo pooing any game that someone else might be interested I decided to see if I still had it and played me some games*. First up I played Turok for the Xbox 360. Totally bog standard shooter that borrows more than quite a lot from Gears of War from the token black guy who carries big guns to running around for six levels for the sake of some comms device. However, it had dinosaurs in it which means an instant 10/10. I totally busted it too! It took me a shocking 15 hours-ish but I enjoyed it nonetheless. All that crap about decent AI was still total bullshit too but it did have some nice boss battles. It is sad that the cheevos were so poorly thought through with the majority linked to multiplayer crap . Then I busted up Dinotopia The Sunstone Odyysey. It took about 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. The game started...

So far, so good. Three great games on the list, I'm sure you'll agree (aside from two of them not really being games). So what is better than Dead Rising you might ask? Well it's only frickin Dino Crisis 3! Although much hated by most gamers, we don't share that opinion because we have never played it. The last time I checked it still wasn't backward compatible with the Xbox 360 which is a testament to how much it is hated considering that titles like Catwoman, Dinotopia and Bass Pro Shops Trophy Hunter 2007 have been emulator enabled. However, it remains one of the greatest games of all time because from reading the instruction book, looking at the back of the box, examining the screenshots and watching videos it has genetically altered dinosaurs in space. Which is kind of like dinosaur zombies in space which in turn means that it is practically Resident Evil in space which is where Albert Wesker lives. What a great game! The list so far: 48: Dead Rising 49: Resid...

Listen. Learn.

Every now and then a game comes along that does away with pretense of lies about AI. Velociraptor Safari is such a game. If only there was an emoticon to depict a room filling up with ejaculate produced through excitement related to videogames with dinosaurs in it.

Especially if I insist on buying shit like this for myself as a reward for buying other people presents. Which I will insist upon. Review of Clever Kids Dino Land based on the box art alone: Shoddy aimed-at-children game that uses about 2% of the space on a DS cartridge. Three thousand complete the six piece jigsaw mini games, and one microphone gimmick game that doesn't really work. There is a 50% chance that this game doesn't allow players to save but instead they have to enter a passcode WHICH IS SO EARLY PlayStation it hurts. With dinosaurs and mammoths 10/10 I dream of the day I can fill my little DS 9 game case carrier with dinosaur and prehistoric creatures games only! LIFE AMBITION PROGRESS: 11%. £40 and I could be 33% closer to my life ambition! MONEY CAN AND DOES BUY YOU HAPPINESS! Fossil League: GOT! Ice Age 2: The meltdown: Need! Clever Kids Dino Land: Need! Dino Master: Need! Dino Crisis DS: Not yet made. Get on it Capcom!!

Hi kids. Part three of our fanboys rantings after this inspiring post by Richie!. Here is part one and two . Chuff_72: There are no interiors in the game (well there are a couple but essentially all the buildings are just pretty boxes - there is also no interaction, you can't remove a plank bridge to stop people following you for example.) Mysterio: OMFG! THIS GAME IS SHIT - ALTAIR IS A HUMAN CHARACTER, WHY CAN’T HE REMOVE HIS ROBES AND MASTERBATE??!!!!???!!!111 Cunzy1 1: Because that would be gay and you'd probably like it and spend all your time in toilet cubicles getting rimmed and thus not buying more over hyped games.

Well, Seeing that Cunzy aint here at the moment… I though I’d give you a “Dinosaurs in Video Games” update. Today’s game is Guitar hero 2. Yeah that’s right Guitar hero 2! I’m sure you are all asking yourselves, “Dinosaurs in guitar hero? How? Where ? As if!” Well they are and they are not… there are 2 separate references to Dinosaurs. First up we have the two player select screen: As you can see from the above picture it depicts: - A Mammoth - Sabre-toothed Tiger - Some crazy extinct Ungulate. (antelope looking thing) - An ancestor of the foxes - An emu-esque big-bird - Smaller mammals, cats etc. - A Fighter jet dropping a bomb on them all. When I first saw this I was admittedly shocked to see some obscure extinct animals just on a 2 player co-operative sceen. But then I realised that this may be a graphical representation of one of the songs, which brings me nicely onto the next instance of “Dinosaurs” in Guitar hero 2: One of the bonus tracks: Fall of Pangaea...

My favourite anime show is Disney's Dinosaur . Although only one extended episode was ever made it still remains my favourite anime show ever! People often describe it as retarded and they slag it off in the anime forums saying that even the 41st episode of Naruto (the episode that everyone knows is at best non-canon, second series Pokemon good but nowhere near as good as 4th episode Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors, Finnish dub)is twenty times better. But what do they know? Disney's dinosaur has some great animation and the storyline is compelling. Also no-one unexpectedly flies or discovers that they can blow things up using their Triante birth right. Anyway the only reason it is on this blog, which is a videogame blog, not some kind of anime wank palace is that there is a game based on Disney's Dinosaur coming out soon. Here is a screenie. How good does that look? It's a WoW beater anyday. I just hope that they don't ruin it by giving it ...

Well, I don't know about you but the 25th of May is in my diary, as is every other day of the year but the exception is that I've written "Tomb Raider" for this day. That's right Tomb Raider 10th Anniversary edition is coming out and it looks sexy as. Go to Gamespot to see some of the images. Yeah I know it's the same game but just look at it. Ahh! Also this artwork is in their images section. NICE DINOSAUR GAME ART! In an unprecedented turn of events I'm doing an EDGE and reviewing the game right now based on one piece of artwork and the gamespot material. 10/10 GOLD. That's right buy it people. Buy it. That'll teach SONY to abandon the greatest console of all time.

We've all been playing a game when suddenly the phone rings or the smoke from the kitchen reaches your nose and you have to run out of the room to deal with the situation. With the fire abated you return to your unpaused game to find, nothing much has happened...... You still finished the race and you weren't in last, the gaggle of Stormtroopers failed to even take you down to half life. That's right kids! I'm talking about lazy game design . It must have happened to you, when you realise that if you play a particular game by running through trying to pull off awesome combos you will die once or twice but if you walk slowly just using kick you still reach the end with full health. For me, this really ruins a game, destroying the illusions that a) You were any good at the game in the first place and b) That the virtual world you are is one full of unique characters not mindless robots programmed to run up to you and try to kill you. How many set pieces do you know that...

So this arrived in the post today! Now all I need is a computer that can run it. Stupid PC gaming. Still, in the event of the end of the world I can travel from town to town scrounging tractor batteries to run top of the range PCs and I don't have to worry about finding the game. I'm going to put this game and all my other dinosaur games in a bullet proof CD case and carry them on me at all times just in case the end of the world happens. On that note, I'm now cheating on That Guy's a Maniac with my new blog Cunzy11'sdinosaursingames blog. I'm going to be the world's leading expert on dinosaurs in games and co-author of the World's Second Greatest Videogame Blog! Just see if I ain't....... In other, non-dinosaur related news, Chuff_72 , long time commentor, member of Catch the Monkeys and other Games B69 and guest writer is on a mission to discover London's greatest game stores. Here's a sneak preview of his antics on Saturday, t...

Yesterday, Long Time TGAM Commentor and occassional guest writer Chuff_72 said: "OH SIIIICCCKKKKKKK someone on this blog is planning on getting ALL the games with dinos in... try and guess who everybody. Anyways, that means he/she is gonna have to buy Splashdown 2! There's even a dino on the back of the frikin box! SIIICCCKKKKKKK!!!!" and "SSSSIIIIIIICCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! I forgot John Woo Presents Stranglehold, not only dinos but in a FRIKIN MUSEUM!!!!! Another reason to get a 360...Homophobe for dinosaurs." It's true readers. I'm giving up on trying to collect all the games I would like in my games collection. The sad truth is I just don't have time to play them all and I know that one day soon I'm going to lose a cable, lead or accessory which means some of my old consoles are going to have to be put down. For good. Nothing but museum pieces. Until then I'm going to try to get every game that has featured dinosaur...