That guy's a Maniac...

How spiffy When one discusses the more recent entries in the soulcalibur series, one cannot skip over the aesthetic that has become the foundation at the core of this series' progression. The fundamentals of the personae are divided between the character models and the weapon styles. The weapon styles themselves could arguably be considered the actual protagonists in the soulcalibur enterprise, whereby it is irrelevant on your character choice, as through the medium of the character creator all styles may be applied to any moving portraiture. That being said that the mainstays of the series are so iconic and Namco are aware of this, so much so that they remain immediately selectable as pillars of the games.   However it is within the character creator that the sheer breadth of the title, and the archetypal aesthetic becomes so apparent. Interacting with the character creator acquaints and exposes the user to the underbelly of the fabrication and production of ...

INSIDE SCENE A SMALL SCIENCE SPACE CRAFT FLOATING THROUGH THE VOID. From some general disarray and darkness it’s clear that this small craft is abandoned. The only light is that coming from the Sun’s reflections of Earth and starlight through the small viewing windows and portholes throughout. Varying shots establish that it’s been some time since it’s been lived in. A shot through one of the windows with a view of Earth shows what is clearly North America, however there is a gigantic circular crater on the East coast, indicating something happened. Unexpectedly. Some of the machinery whirs into life like that scene from Aliens. You know the one. Various lights flash and static emits from a speaker. The signal, starts semi audible and begins to improve. It’s clear that its human speech before words can be heard. SPEAKER: …..ember…. cool……egular [SPEAKER CLICKS OFF] [SPEAKER RINGS THEN CLICKS ON] SPEAKER:…ember… uper cool… ifferent from regular….. entage of all...

E3 is a constant disappointment to us. This year we didn't even make too much of an effort to absorb any of it until long after it had passed. It's explicitly been why despite our blog age taking over our mental age recently we've been underwhelmed into a shocked silence. One thing is clear though gaming no longer appears to be for us.  Now this isn't just the typical gamer reaction. We aren't the type to jump onto the forums and announce how we hate it all and we're boycotting it all and we're giving up (only to return in a week or two when out favourite license signs an exclusive deal). We're actually real life gamers. The gamers who don't seem to work in the industry, who don't seem to be heard by the industry and who don't have infinitely deep pockets.  Since before E3 the creeping sensation of all this not really being for us has crept in. How anyone can seriously talk about the PlayStation 3 as being a viable platform (or the...

Out-fucking-rageous. This advert is on the actual telly-vision. Except unlike the version in that link it carries the disclaimer along the lines of "visionary applications only".  Basically, Microsoft have created an advert for the Kinect, yet another advert featuring a chilled out version of the Pixies' "Where is My Mind?", showing a whole host of things that might be possible in the future using Kinect but which aren't at the moment.  Amazing new low from MS when it comes to Kinect. Can't sell any when you show what you can actually do with it today? Then hypothesize about the future. When the product might be useful. I think more ads should be like this one. Fuck four wheeled cars, just advertise flying cars with the disclaimer "made-up future bullshit in no way reflects existing product". Tobacco companies should advertise non-existent anti-cancer medicines to allow us to smoke as much as we like. Just occasionally take an "n...

We've literally just invented microfanficcing everybody. And now after all the lies, plagiarism and law suits we're now ready to tell our story about how it all started. Richie : Well it all started when we I was excited about the Chocobo for the Xbox 360 avatars. Cunzy1 1 : Yeah. I was ridiculing him for having a light sabre, chocobo and megatron hat and being over the age of 15. Richie : That's right. Well I went on to say that the only reason I wanted the chocobo was to pretend I was Irvine from Final Fantasy 8 and get to bad touch Selphie. Cunzy1 1 : Then... oh god this sounds so bad. Then we went on to talking about Zell. I mean here is this guy in this band of merry men each with different skillz and all he can do is punch people. Richie : He doesn't even have a dog. Cunzy1 1 : Exactly and then I asked Richie what he called Angelo because I called Angelo 'bitch' so Rinoa's limit break was Bitch Strike and Bitch Rush. Then Richie fan ficked the Bitch n...