That guy's a Maniac...

Please! There's been an accident and we need help from all comers. Gamers across the web, please unite. It seems that after all those close calls, depsite everyone's warnings, the people over at Terra Nova have finally FALLEN HEAD FIRST UP THEIR OWN ASSHOLE. For those of you who don't know it Terra Nova is a blog about virtual worlds. Fair enough you might say. There's a few of those about. However, the problem with Terra Nova is that they take it way too seriously. The blog is written by various contributors who have tenuous job titles or tenuous connections to 'virtual worlds'. They only ever discuss Second Life, WoW, Guild Wars or EVE online. In addition there are a few crackpots who go on and on about MUDs. Anyway, so what you might say, you do a blog about old capcom games and sex toys. Yes. This is true. But we don't take ourselves so painfully serious and we don't make sweeping assumption about virtual worlds, catalysed by the matrix movie

Especially if I insist on buying shit like this for myself as a reward for buying other people presents. Which I will insist upon. Review of Clever Kids Dino Land based on the box art alone: Shoddy aimed-at-children game that uses about 2% of the space on a DS cartridge. Three thousand complete the six piece jigsaw mini games, and one microphone gimmick game that doesn't really work. There is a 50% chance that this game doesn't allow players to save but instead they have to enter a passcode WHICH IS SO EARLY PlayStation it hurts. With dinosaurs and mammoths 10/10 I dream of the day I can fill my little DS 9 game case carrier with dinosaur and prehistoric creatures games only! LIFE AMBITION PROGRESS: 11%. £40 and I could be 33% closer to my life ambition! MONEY CAN AND DOES BUY YOU HAPPINESS! Fossil League: GOT! Ice Age 2: The meltdown: Need! Clever Kids Dino Land: Need! Dino Master: Need! Dino Crisis DS: Not yet made. Get on it Capcom!!

Hi kids. Part three of our fanboys rantings after this inspiring post by Richie!. Here is part one and two . Chuff_72: There are no interiors in the game (well there are a couple but essentially all the buildings are just pretty boxes - there is also no interaction, you can't remove a plank bridge to stop people following you for example.) Mysterio: OMFG! THIS GAME IS SHIT - ALTAIR IS A HUMAN CHARACTER, WHY CAN’T HE REMOVE HIS ROBES AND MASTERBATE??!!!!???!!!111 Cunzy1 1: Because that would be gay and you'd probably like it and spend all your time in toilet cubicles getting rimmed and thus not buying more over hyped games.

There now follows a joint entry from Richie and from Diversion Projects, Kaiser Tia , regarding a favourite gaming franchise... As you may or may not know the Silent Hill series is getting a fifth instalment. Hurrah! However, this chapter in the series will NOT be developed by Konami Japan's Team Silent . Instead It will be developed in the US by The Collective, inc., the company responsible for such gaming classics as The Da Vinci Code and Star Wars: Episode III (ugh). Konami made a similar decision when they outsourced the PSP's Silent Hill Origins to Climax US , who did such a bad job that the game's developent that most of the game's mechanics were scrapped and production handed over to Climax UK, who were deemed more capable of delivering a 'Silent Hill experience'. Now we don't claim to be a Japanimaniacs or USAphobes, but we have all seen what happens to good Japanese things when they get Westernised. Subtlety generally goes out of the window

Omastar has been feeling bad lately. He can't drink without getting drunk. He would blame videogames but there aren't videogames yet. They wouldn't work in the sea anyways. He can't even listen to gangsta rap either because mammals haven't evolved past the "nose noise" stage in their evolution yet. Yeah that's right North. We can all copy! How do you like them apples??? EDIT: Because it's not really worth a new post. I hate being a gamer it means you download lots of shit that you don't need or will ever look at again. Especially free shit like that Good writing for games guide and Breaking the Mold Bioshock PDF. Also, btw, games people no one really cares about the art of Halo/Half Life/Bioshock. You read it once and think "Oh, OK so originally the mad doctor had three less wire tentacles coming out of his head". Then that information is instantly forgotten and never needed again. The only reason gamers buy The Art of ......

Dude, I rented Assassassassinssss Creed over the weekend and busted that bad boy right open - CAUTION, OPINION WITHIN MAY NOT BE OF THE POPULAR VARIETY. First off, I DO like this game, it is fun and looks pretty. However, it is also, misleading, rushed, boring, repetitive, annoying and overrated. Fun. I finished this game and enjoyed it, I liked the story and the characters, I thought the future elements were nice and especially that you are a Bartender called Desmond (Spoiler?), though very divisive (this game is basically a setup for a new franchise, even EA would be ashamed of the obviousness of this) and the game felt cool to play, it does a good job of making you feel like a badass (except the main dude swings his hips a little too much.) Badassedness. Of course, this is what *every* game should be about. Altair isn’t supposed to be a ‘badass’ for Fuck’s sake, he’s from a religious sub-sect from post islamic intent on destabilisation of the muslims. Duh. Looks pretty. Oh yes

Yes, here at TGAM, we have lost the plot a bit. We don't actually play games anymore but we like to think we are characters in a Douglas Coupland book*. Fortunately, Chuff_72, our man on the street, does play games. Here are his thoughts on hyped to the max Assasin's Creed. SPOILER_O_RAMA Dude, I rented Assassassassinssss Creed over the weekend and busted that bad boy right open - CAUTION, OPINION WITHIN MAY NOT BE OF THE POPULAR VARIETY. First off, I DO like this game, it is fun and looks pretty. However, it is also, misleading, rushed, boring, repetitive, annoying and overrated. Fun. I finished this game and enjoyed it, I liked the story and the characters, I thought the future elements were nice and especially that you are a Bartender called Desmond (Spoiler?), though very divisive (this game is basically a setup for a new franchise, even EA would be ashamed of the obviousness of this) and the game felt cool to play, it does a good job of making you feel like a badass (excep