That guy's a Maniac...

Cunzy1 1: You know what would be neato chap? Richie: What's that? Cunzy1 1: A picture that showed family life of the Birkin family from Resident Evil 2 Richie: Oh. You mean before William Birkin impregnates his own daughter. Cunzy1 1: No. Like way before. Richie: Before Sherry is even born? Cunzy1 1: Yeah, you know. Just the Birkins chilling out at the lab. Annette is due any day... Richie: Cha ching. Thank you deviant art! Cunzy1 1: Isn't that nice. Richie: Yeah. That's magic. Cunzy1 1: And look their home is a lab! Richie: Or maybe they are at work. Cunzy1 1: Yeah William Birkin is totally trying to get her to go home. Richie: But the research Willy. Cunzy1 1: Yeah, she does call him Willy doesn't she? Richie: Yes because in America it's not as funny as it is here. Cunzy1 1: You know what would also be awesome? Richie: A picture of the so totally underage Sherry Birkin all hypersexualised with a gun and her butt hanging out? ...

So instead of the normal whinging about games as if we played games (we just play Resident Evil 2 over and over again). This bank holiday meant that I had some pretty full on game time. Heres some reviews for the usual reasons; 1) Dynasty Warriors 6 Unbelievably, significantly worse than Dynasty Warriors 3. 2) Haze. Imagine Half Life on the PC set in the jungle from the original Crash Bandicoot with a sprinkling of AI taken from Marvel Super Heroes. From now on, Free Radical did nothing after TS2 in our eyes. They went under and will be missed. 3) Zack & Wiki. Genuinely very good, beyond our normal Capcom bias, actually very very good. Wii owners please stop buying shovelware and pick this up. Ya? 4) Endless Ocean. Game of the decade. 100/10. Deadly serious. 5) Devil May Cry 4. Yeah, well I used to be a fan of DMC. Too much annoying capcom checkpoint saving annoyingness. :( 6) Grand Theft Auto IV. Life draining, fun but a bit bland? 7) Resident Evil Umbrella Chro...

Whatever next? My brain age isn't 20? You mean these things aren't telling the truth? So Aeris isn't dead? The Arabs aren't all bad? Frankly, if you are appearing on morning TV because your child was a bit annoyed because her Wii told her she was fat then you must have very very little in your life to worry about otherwise. Oh well, let's hope Ninty send chubby a check or something.

Stupid gamers. Stupid stupid gamers. Nobody cares about anything you think is important so stop wasting the internet filling it up with trite and pseudo-intellectual bullshit like you are debating the future of the human race. Like masturbation, building cathedrals out of matchsticks, and knifing grannies, gaming is a hobby. Some people enjoy it, others don't. the difference being that most other hobbyists don't obsess about it to such a horrifying degree There's a lot of "debate" at the moment around video games here they are all summed up and solved by yours truly hopefully freeing up the internet for some more hand drawn Tifa porn pictures. Games need stories. By far the most popular whinge by game developers themselves. However, here is the lowdown;No they don't. Game makers want to be wanked off by the film and movie critics and the only way to do that is to make your game arty and cinematic and wanky. A film gets released and there are glamorous ...

Is this article a joke that we are too stupid to get? For those of you too lazy to click the link it is an article on Next Gen, the home of EDGE online about paper advertisements in the American Press, "The Best and Worst New Game Ads". At first I thought it might be interesting if their were some godawful ones because we all know that game ads can be pretty shite because marketing people assume that games are only played by young men with violent tendencies. It isn't that though because all the ads are pretty standard. The "worst" isn't at all bad and the best is a bit generic. Then I thought maybe the analysis of the ads might be interesting. But it isn't that either. Here's the bit next to an ad for World in Conflict, the ad is a picture of the box and "Strategy Game of the Year" in big letters: The product has been well-known to this audience for some time. Half the page is devoted to the text “Strategy Game of the Year,” with a large ...

71,000 people dead, 10 million WoW Subscribers left farming their own gold. Tragedy…

Some review, I* did in my spare time The gaming industry, for better or worse, enjoys comparing themselves to the movie industry. Call it insecurity, call it a benchmark, but for years now we’ve heard talk of the need to make games more “cinematic”. From the old FMV games, to the deluge of cut-scenes, it can be argued that games have never quite achieved that goal of completely weaving quality gameplay with the cinematic feel of Hollywood movies. In development for the better part of a decade, Pony Friends, despite some significant flaws, is a definitely positive step in reaching that cinematic sweet spot. From the engrossing introduction and opening credits, to the suggestive epilogue, Pony Friends does a great job of finally making the player feel as though he is playing through a Hollywood blockbuster. But as would be expected, it often does so at the expense of the game. Yes, Pony Friends is a short - and quite easy - horse FPS. The entire adventure will last you only six to seven ...